Losing It

Losing my mind (I do, after all, have children) may be beyond my control, but losing my weight is another matter entirely.  It's been a problem ever since I got married.  I expressed concerns to the nurse practitioner I went to for my pre-marital exam that I would gain weight on birth control.  The same happened to some close family members and I wasn't interested in that.  Despite her reassurances that there wouldn't be any weight gain, I put on thirty pounds in three months.  Not. Cool.  Turns out the pill I was on is now under fire for causing some kind of liver problem or something.  I'll take the weight over organ problems.  Anyway, I went off the pill and the gain immediately stopped.  But the weight didn't come off, either.  Boo.  Add pregnancies into the mix (with no weight loss between them) and my weight officially became a problem.  I just didn't accept it.

Taken July 1, 2012 at my highest ever weight: 212.1 lbs.

Eight years and three kids after starting the pill I got a wake up call.  I saw pictures of myself and was forced to stop laying all the blame on birth control.  It's so much easier to blame the pill.  Something clicked in my head.  I realized that I have 80(ish) pounds to lose.  80.  Not a fan of that number.  So on July 4, 2012 I declared my independence from my fat.

My plan was to take baby steps to a healthier me, with sustainable changes I could live with.  I'm not going to lose a ton of weight just to gain it back after the loss is complete.  I've done fairly well.  There have been hiccups along the way.  All self-control went out the window when I decided to indulge on Halloween 2012 and now (March 2013) I'm still trying to get back on track.  But I'm getting better.  Food is my problem.  I just need to remember what I was doing when I was successful before and keep working and moving forward.

Taken March 22, 2013 at about 184 lbs ( I didn't weigh that day). The picture was taken not for weight loss progress, but to see if I can get away with wearing those pants.  There's some great muffin top going on under that shirt.

I am in charge of my body, not the other way around.  It takes as long as it takes.  I can't have the rewards until I accomplish the goals.  I can do this.

Those are my affirmations.  It's been encouraging to see the progress my body has made, and not just from the standpoint of pounds and measurements.  I've run three 5k races and felt my body give juuuuust a little bit more when I thought it would give out.  The human body is an amazing gift.  Now if I can just get back to giving it the best fuel possible I'll be able to watch the extra pounds it's carrying melt away.

As the weather warms up it would be fun to do some kind of fitness challenge.  Something that celebrates improvement more than the movement of a scale
.  I'll have to think on it.  It would certainly motivate me!