Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Making a New Me, or Losing Two of My Firstborn

The Hubs took two days off before the Fourth of July and we did a lot of great stuff together.  One of those things was a family trip to the zoo.  The walk up to the parking lot has quite the incline.  Blue Eyes was done walking and wanted to be carried.  Rather than listen to the whining Because I'm such a sweet mommy I agreed to give her a piggy back ride.  By the time we got to the top of the hill I felt like death.  There was a bit of grumbling on my part about how out of shape I am and how I need to lose weight.  That's when it occurred to me that carrying my daughter was difficult not just because I had her extra weight, but because I also had my extra weight.  That breakthrough in thought came because my extra weight is equivalent to carrying two Blue Eyeses around with me all the time.  All. The. Time.  No wonder I get tired.

That provided some motivation for me, but it was also getting a copy of pictures that threw me over the edge.  As pictures go it's not bad but, oh my, I never realized how badly I have "little head" problem.  You know, the one where it looks like you're part way through some kind of witch doctor head shrinking ritual which leaves you with a tiny head and enormous (by comparison) shoulders.  The pictures were taken the day before our outing to the zoo.

I found myself unhappy with how I've been looking.  To top it off, I've been gaining weight since nursing.  That always seems to happen when I'm breastfeeding, but that doesn't make it feel any better.  I weighed myself and found that the only time I've ever been heavier was a few months ago, just before giving birth to my son.  Boo.  

So now I have some motivation to make lasting changes.  And I'm liking it.  I've attempted a few diet and exercise blitzes that promise big results only to drop out and fail within two weeks.  The change was simply too radical.  This time my mind set is that it takes the time it takes.  If I make a mistake I'll do better the next day or even the next hour.  Beating myself up will not help (but it does usually get me several cookies).  I'm trying to choose better, more healthful foods and gradually start moving my body more.  When I get cravings I either limit my intake or remind myself that I'm in control of my body, not the other way around.  I have to be able to live this if I expect change.  

Losing my daughter's body weight twice over is a tall order.  My "ideal" BMI puts me at 132 lbs.  I don't think that's actually realistic for my body.  If I lost my daughter's weight once I would be over the moon happy.  So that's what I'm working on for starters.  And guess what...I'm down two pounds already.  :)  Here's to taking charge of my body!

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