Fatigue

Oh, how I wish I had a really encouraging, uplifting post to cover the past few days.  But I promised myself I would be completely real.  I am in serious need of a good run.  Maybe I should say I'm in serious need of an easy run.  There have been quite a few truly difficult runs over the past week or so. The 8 mile run on Saturday just about finished me off.  It was partly the distance, partly my lack of water, and mostly the heat.  I'm not so good with heat.

We took a new route that none of us had ever run before.  There was a big section of straight and flat that my running buddies really hated.  Because I'm on a treadmill the other three days of training a week that wasn't so bad for me.  But my body just kind of gave up.  At one point I thought to myself that it would just be easier to get pregnant and deal with that instead of the run.  Obviously I wasn't thinking very clearly.

The last mile or two was pretty bad.  I started to get a bit light-headed and had to walk while I downed some fruit snacks.  Then I pretty much hobbled the last little way back.  I was not helped along by the fact that there was some idiot standing around right by where we were going to finish that started heckling us.  I had a couple of choice words saved up for him until I realized it was the husband of one of my buddies and he was cheering us on.  And he had ice cold water bottles.  Then I decided he was my new best friend.

This morning was another 3 mile run.  It was hard.  My legs were so tired.  I guess that's to be expected after only one day of rest.  Tomorrow I have a five mile run so we will see how that goes.  I just need to remind myself that I don't need to be a hero or a speed demon.  Saturday is a 10 miler.  I've asked them if we can keep it to 9 miles because I'm not sure I'm ready for 10 after last week's run.  The other part of me wants to just push forward.  It will be an easier run because most of it will be down hill through the canyon and earlier in the morning so it won't be so hot.  As I write that out I feel a little more confident about doing it.

I've been trying to think of ways to encourage myself and get past the mental block, so here goes.  I'm no stranger to doing hard things.  There is always some point at which I think I can't possibly go on, that I don't want to, that it's not worth it, or any number of things that make me feel like simply quitting.  Quitting would be easier but there would always be regret that I didn't finish what I started.  The big thing I keep trying to remember is that I built a house.  While I was pregnant.  There were several times I felt like we would be building forever and never actually move in.  Moving day was a year and a half ago, so obviously we did finish building.  I tell myself that this is just one of those times when I feel like I'll be training forever and never cross that finish line.  That helps me get through.  If I could build a house while pregnant I should be able to do anything.  The mental game is just as important and the physical one.